GOODBYE LETTER -
INFLATABLE BOYFRIEND EXCUSE!
My love, I write you this letter to send you, "affectionately," to hell.
You're going to ask yourself, of course not, but what have I done? You're selfish, you're a dog, you know, but it's no use, Isabel, you really do not convince me...
I wish our ties did not break that way, but you like it, maybe you like it because you like to cry.
Yeah, I think seeing your swollen eyes should please you. But that's not the point now ...
I'm just saying that I do not want any more and that's it, you know that it's no good coming to my house, since I've changed all the locks and changed my phone number, so you do not bother me anymore.
All because of a spiky leopard panties that you found in the pocket of my jacket!
Creature, so much to care about in life, and so little does it lose your reason ... Quite frankly...
That is why these things occur between us, you judge without seeking to know what is the well-intentioned background in my actions ...
You know that I am a man of noble nature and with acts of charity and generosity with my neighbors.
In fact, to break most of your arguments, you know that the commandment that I respect the most is that: "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife (while the neighbor is near)."
Neither should, as his accusations pierced my heart like "cold drunken arrows that made crusts of our fine fantasy of love."
I can explain, the case was as follows: I went to the mall to buy a gift for you, as you know it was payday, and I thought, "why not buy a jewel for my beloved", and I, as passionate as I am, to the point of being an idiot, were not, would not be in love, but anyway.
And on the way to the jewelry store, there was an underwear shop, a sex shop, going straight through, when a burst of sound was issued from inside the store.
That smoker, the people running, panties and straps flying, in a few moments the shop was empty and on fire.
I was almost struck in the head by a giant, burning penis. I was going to run too, but something froze the movement of my legs, it was a distressed woman's voice, shouting, "Help, help," so I thought, I can not save my skin at the expense of the life of a damsel in distress.
Then I entered the environment, which was unbearably hot, but I preferred to keep my coat in order not to injure myself in any coal.
The screams came from the dresser where the maid was, he had turned with the unfortunate woman inside, the door to the floor, the passage of the ceiling obstructed by the counter, the shop, and the bottom by the other tasters who also fell ...
And now? How to save her? So I yelled asking, "Are you okay?"
And the poor maid answered, "Yes." And I started looking, searching, and finding a way to release her quickly before the fire consumed her, so that was when I saw the solution.
I would make a rope with the underwear that was in the store, large enough for pull the counter that was stuck and rescue the poor girl.
So I did, I went on the shelves I looked for some clothes of bigger size, but it was shipping. There was nothing, there were still the panties, and I went deftly, tying it one by one, hoping to do it in a timely manner to rescue her, I did it!
I tied the rope on the counter and pulled, and pulled, with all my might, until the counter moved away enough space so she could escape.
Then, before I finished, the first pair of panties, which was perhaps that of a leopard, escaped the rope and remained in my hand.
But, in the hour of despair I put it in my jacket pocket and went to help the girl, which was more important.
I saved her, I put her in her arms to get her out of the fire.
And I was coming out of the smoke, with the poor damsel already weak and almost fainted in my arms, I, all scorched out of the debris. When I left the people were applauding me for the heroic deed.
Only you are the one who does not recognize this, Isabel, for all the other people I am a hero, and only for you it is that I am worth nothing.
If so, stay in your house I don't want to see you.
I feel very offended, and so, today, I will be forced to go to the beach of Ipióca drink to calm me.
All because of you. Quite frankly. Isabel ... Goodbye!